Cookie on the Run

I must vent. I can't help it. Someone is infringing the Eat 'N Park smiley cookie trademark. This is not cool. The "Clever Cookie Company," a New York-based company that sells kosher goods via the Internet, has begun producing cookies that are nearly identical to my beloved smiley cookies. If only I was the one representing Eat 'N Park. I would let loose the virtual wrath of generations of angry, hungry steel workers on those clever bakers in Long Island. Clever Cookie Company indeed. Don't mess with my Smiley Cookie.®

What really leaves crumbs in my covers, though, is the public and press ignorance of the trademark law issues here. I've been reading a multitude of statements from reporters and from the public at large who happily display a near-complete lack of understanding of trademark law. It genuinely bothers me. Not because I feel that they should have a better understanding of trademark law (that's my job, not theirs), but because I feel that they should have a better understanding of trademark law before they offer their opinions on the subject. Here is what some of the locals are saying:

"As far as I know the law - all you need to do is change a product 20%, and there is no copyright infringement." - misguided layperson #1 (note: this is a trademark matter, not a copyright matter)

"Surely that smiley face must be in the public domain by now. Everyone uses it. There would be lawsuits galore!" - misguided layperson #2 (note: trademark rights, unlike copyrights, can exist in perpetuity)

"Does that mean Eat 'N Park will be suing everyone who uses emoticons?" - misguided layperson #3 (note: Eat 'N Park owns trademark rights for smiley faces ON COOKIES,* not on all things in the universe)

"If Eat 'N Park somehow prevails, Kings never has to sweat Denny's introduction of Malevolent muffins or Scowling scones." - completely useless reporter who sets forth his own erroneous legal analysis, displaying an almost perfect ignorance of the most fundamental tenants of trademark law.

Eat 'N Park has a legitimate case here. Fortunately, they are well-represented by the Webb Firm in Pittsburgh. I hope that they get a fair shake in court. And I pray that the Clever Cookie Co. does not retain my firm to represent them. I could not in my heart defend them. As you can see from the photo, I am loyal to just one cookie.

* and pancakes too, actually